Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hippo1234

Search for a member

hippo1234

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34627
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - 2 hours ago<b>isuckwithnames</b> - 7 hours ago<b>anonisfab</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:41pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:24pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:08pm<b>the_nope_man</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:52pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:21pm<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Haze64</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:39am<b>ladyP97</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Qiuakii</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:37am<b>Candicane241</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:27pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:27am

hippo1234's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of hippo1234's badges

hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41851) - you deserved it (12973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (7752)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (44208)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43059) - you deserved it (18625) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (3450)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47179) - you deserved it (5427)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (19290)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (14081)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46585) - you deserved it (5531)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (5942)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: