hippo1234

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Offline (the 05/14/2015 at 8:22pm)

hippo1234

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 46535
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:14am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:08am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 8:44am<b>redfoxman01</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>TheTOT</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:51am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:51pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>mike6598</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Cortana101</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:54pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>urlit</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>plaidalecki</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:09pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:32am

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:27pm

hippo1234's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of hippo1234's badges

hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

by CheesyCasey / 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

by festival virgin / 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

by SariLone / 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals