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hippo1234

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

hippo1234

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 40234
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>steeler088</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>mike6598</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Cortana101</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:54pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>urlit</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>plaidalecki</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:09pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:32am<b>devi_916</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:09pm<b>makitokito</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:28pm<b>kingofthediamond</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:33am<b>pptm</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:06pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:49am<b>Chazticr</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:58pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:47pm

Liked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:27pm

hippo1234's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of hippo1234's badges

hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57201) - you deserved it (66114)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64217) - you deserved it (5158)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49058) - you deserved it (4067)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (9754)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

#20693953
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (5315)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm - work - by CheesyCasey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51096) - you deserved it (5235)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48719) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48719) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56172) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42085) - you deserved it (8239)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49812) - you deserved it (13537)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52050) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99046) - you deserved it (5985)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada



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