About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.
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hippo1234's favorite FMLs
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML
by vbecka / 06/26/2013 at 1:08pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
by Ouch / 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…