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hippo1234

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hippo1234

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 40281
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>steeler088</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>mike6598</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Cortana101</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:54pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>urlit</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>plaidalecki</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:09pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:32am<b>devi_916</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:09pm<b>makitokito</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:28pm<b>kingofthediamond</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:33am<b>pptm</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:06pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:49am<b>Chazticr</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:58pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:47pm

Liked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:27pm

hippo1234's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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hippo1234's favorite FMLs

my house was broken into. After we calld the police, my dad startd calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop.

TODAYHILE AT A PRIVATE LAKE, MAH COLON DECLARED A STATE OF EVACUATION. I VENTURED AS FAR FROM MAH FAMILY AS MAH SPHINCTER WOULD ALLOW, ONLY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH TWO VERY HORRIFIED KAYAKERS MID-EXPLOSION. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42222) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

yesterday I let a friend read a draft of te novel I'm writing. Se claimd te antagonist is blatantly basd on er and treatend to sue me if I don't pay er royalties. Te antagonist is an ancient insane goblin witc. I guess I see now ow tis confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44260) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party 4 a bunc of eigt year olds. One of tem decided it'd be funny to ave a contest to see wo could make te most bubble wit tere farts. It led to tree kids sitting temselve in te pool, and me aving te dubiou onor of cleaning it up. fat FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57806) - you deserved it (4399)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today... I'va baan gatting calls 4 ovar a waak on my homa phona... call phona... and tha work phona at my night shift... in which somaona whispar tarrifying Satanic-sounding chant at ma. I'va now found out that tha callar is my bast "friand". His axplanation: "You saamad lonaly... man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I Was Washing Up In A Public Bathroom, When I Looked Up 4 A Second And Saw A Kid In The Mirror Staring Back At Me. I Gasped, As I Thought The Place Had Been Empty. He Whispered, "It's Time To Die." I Screamed And Ran Out, Only To Hear Him Burst Out Laughing Behind Me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (8451)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Yesterday, my grlfriend dumpd me fir no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updatd her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commentd, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (5661)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally talked mah boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I cummed an instinctively gripped his head with mah thighs. He panicked an we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51903) - you deserved it (11216)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watcing ma 3-year-old sister play in te battub . Se started screaming at er toys, saying "You're staying under te water until you DIE!" Se ten looked at me and cackled . I sare a room wit tis demon cild . big fat FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50058) - you deserved it (3697)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... my daughter's biggest aspration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramone in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (8618)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

yesterday while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone looool making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I cummed out . FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today , my grandma walked into my house drunk . She was mumbling something about her being a badas cuz she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar . She's 68 years old . FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39359) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

I came home to find that mah mother had cleand mah room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managd to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, ( It's time to go, sweetie XO ). FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45824) - you deserved it (7479)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a bus an I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, an hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (9036)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a message from mah brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead fir two years . FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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