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hippo1234

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hippo1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 35285
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>Advait07</b> - yesterday at 10:36pm<b>oneofthosepeople</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:46pm<b>pptm</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:45am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:14am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:08am<b>DrAvvesome13</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:43am<b>viperishcat</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:34pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:04am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:24pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:20pm<b>anonisfab</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:41pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:24pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:08pm<b>the_nope_man</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:35pm

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hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46863) - you deserved it (9468)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50381) - you deserved it (6515)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2401)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (35203)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45081) - you deserved it (7913)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

#20543135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (2197)

On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (2704)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52896) - you deserved it (6881)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

#20540391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (3682)

On 03/12/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (8365)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (50715) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (50715) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (5821)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



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