Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hippo1234

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

hippo1234

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 35908
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:28pm<b>kingofthediamond</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:33am<b>pptm</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:06pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:49am<b>Chazticr</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:58pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:47pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:35am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:31am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:27am<b>kittina</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:36am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:24pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>oneofthosepeople</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:46pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:14am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:08am<b>DrAvvesome13</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:43am<b>viperishcat</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:34pm

hippo1234's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of hippo1234's badges

hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49236) - you deserved it (6566)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38903) - you deserved it (5672)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46730) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (10993)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39210) - you deserved it (9728)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (9472)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50789) - you deserved it (6555)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (35220)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45413) - you deserved it (7962)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

#20543135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2199)

On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (15679)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: