About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.
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hippo1234's favorite FMLs
by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML
by wowthanksworld / 03/22/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Transportation
by tspence / 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Tired / 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by missedfistbump / 03/20/2013 at 10:31am / United States / Work
by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy
by lp525252 / 03/20/2013 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML
by really? / 03/20/2013 at 12:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by soontobesingle / 03/19/2013 at 7:30am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse… Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss… Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well…