hippo1234

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Offline (the 05/14/2015 at 8:22pm)

hippo1234

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 47541
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:14am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:08am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 8:44am<b>redfoxman01</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:03pm<b>TheTOT</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:51am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:51pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:11pm<b>mike6598</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Cortana101</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:54pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>urlit</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>plaidalecki</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:09pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:32am

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:27pm

hippo1234's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of hippo1234's badges

hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

by not funny but :( / 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Holidays

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

by Gixie / 03/24/2013 at 11:56am / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

by theawesome129 / 03/24/2013 at 6:20am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

by WTFLY / 03/23/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous