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hippo1234

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hippo1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 35205
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>Advait07</b> - yesterday at 10:36pm<b>oneofthosepeople</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:46pm<b>pptm</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:45am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:14am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:08am<b>DrAvvesome13</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:43am<b>viperishcat</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:34pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:04am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:24pm<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:20pm<b>anonisfab</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:41pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:24pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:08pm<b>the_nope_man</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:35pm

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hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52110) - you deserved it (7818)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (4379)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (6590) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51943) - you deserved it (18456)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (24802)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14701)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40061) - you deserved it (4079)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42853) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (38687)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (12257)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (80630)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53481) - you deserved it (4217)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46688) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (77631)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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