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hippo1234

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hippo1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34590
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.

hippo1234's page activity

Visits<b>anonisfab</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:41pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:24pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:08pm<b>the_nope_man</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:52pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:21pm<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Haze64</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:39am<b>ladyP97</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Qiuakii</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:37am<b>Candicane241</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:27pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:27am<b>stonealone</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:03pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:46pm

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hippo1234's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (5207)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48895) - you deserved it (3609)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56846) - you deserved it (7336)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

#21158368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56915) - you deserved it (5977)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (4181)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21126521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40126) - you deserved it (4544)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (4516)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63250) - you deserved it (30816)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (8046) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46243) - you deserved it (9092)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (5586)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML



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