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  • Number of visits : 444
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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hiiiiiii's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (5015)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (47912)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (30704)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (8687)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

#17349530
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11240) - you deserved it (46465)

On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (66190)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

#17192528
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by Stacy Dee - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131062) - you deserved it (7331)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

#16934037
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47302) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63300) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (11345)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (15017)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39716) - you deserved it (4108)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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