About hiandrews69 : Very friendly and somewhat loopy.
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hiandrews69's favorite FMLs
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML
by georgiamarshall_ / 01/09/2013 at 5:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by whateven / 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by AnonUser464 / 01/08/2013 at 11:40am / United States / Work
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
by Coldandshoeless / 01/08/2013 at 5:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2013 at 12:20am / United States / Intimacy
by EffUrEll / 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
by anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love
by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
by say dump him and i'll kill you / 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…