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hgarden

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hgarden

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2200
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hgarden's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:02pm

hgarden's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hgarden's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (67354)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (192011) - you deserved it (15928)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML

#167901
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (85435)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27857) - you deserved it (96307)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

#150928
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62616) - you deserved it (14368)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (269034) - you deserved it (63231)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

#142749
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (93271)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79671) - you deserved it (19670)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

#138318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15624) - you deserved it (71603)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm - intimacy - by banana (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
791 comments

I agree, your life sucks (816910) - you deserved it (89250)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (7548)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12376) - you deserved it (69860)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML

#257
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52154) - you deserved it (4798)

On 11/09/2008 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Enko - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML

#249
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (9323)

On 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

#239
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/07/2008 at 1:33am - love - by Choum - Sent from mobile version



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