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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39892) - you deserved it (16864)
On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67318) - you deserved it (4700)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10666) - you deserved it (40416)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by biologyfailure. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (228495)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69128) - you deserved it (4827)
On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82913) - you deserved it (3246)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53950) - you deserved it (15098)
On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (51571)
On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (16582)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:40am - animals - by ferrarismyname (man) - United States (California)
Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (14194)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (67765)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55701) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (4233)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was my second day of work as a promoter for a glasses company. After 2 hours of work I was told I had quadrupled sales in their glasses shop. Feeling chuffed with myself I almost danced out of the shop knocking over a huge shelf full of glasses. The glasses will cost over £1,400 to replace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15087) - you deserved it (38058)
On 04/02/2009 at 4:19am - money - by dannyboy (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (4200)
On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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