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heythisisme02's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML
by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML
by fuzzle003 / 06/13/2012 at 8:47am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
by tLee / 07/19/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML
by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Micheal / 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…