heythisisme02

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Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 10:17pm)

heythisisme02

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heythisisme02heythisisme02
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heythisisme02's page activity

Visits<b>Laeffy</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Vettin</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 8:15am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:29am<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:16pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:56pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:39am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:56am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:03am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:39pm<b>lauren12983</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:21am<b>McDerpface</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:18am<b>april199</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Mattaguirre_</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:30pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 5:07am<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:01am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:02pm

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heythisisme02's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

by fuzzle003 / 06/13/2012 at 8:47am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

by tLee / 07/19/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

by tannerpaul / 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

by Micheal / 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love