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heythisisme02

Offline (the 03/31/2014 at 11:31pm) | Search for a member

heythisisme02

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  • Number of visits : 48
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heythisisme02's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41285) - you deserved it (12069)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (9321)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63140) - you deserved it (14379)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (1706)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you deserved it (34168)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

#17170835
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (3896)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

#15932020
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (4416)

On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (4593)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41539) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64750) - you deserved it (6595)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

#1649042
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41174) - you deserved it (7029)

On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (469912) - you deserved it (29090)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML



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