Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heylilyhey

Search for a member

heylilyhey
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heylilyhey : I made my FML account in 7th grade, so please don't judge my username. :•)

heylilyhey's last visitors

penguin_bitchezDMAN80182001The_Big_BossusmcfieldsSuperdouchebagred_headforlifeALlamaOnFiretotallybananas

heylilyhey's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of heylilyhey's badges

heylilyhey's favorite FMLs

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (5176)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42220) - you deserved it (6173)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

#3486343
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (38629)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

#3437609
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36127) - you deserved it (11596)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (6154)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75720) - you deserved it (15336)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML

#3207730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (45931)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML

#3207730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (45931)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51269) - you deserved it (3841)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (17813)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (52845)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were checking into Dubai airport. I had already checked in and was waiting with my brother and sister near a pillar for my parents. I leaned on the pillar and hit my elbow on the fire alarm. A bunch of airport officials ran towards me and asked where the fire was. FML

#2880509
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (12225)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by hdmi (man) - Tanzania United Republic of (Dar es Salaam)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: