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heylilyhey

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heylilyhey
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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heylilyhey's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7321) - you deserved it (31190)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (3887)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (5075)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

#19566777
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (3443)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by savanna (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (17933)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

#19496982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (1422)

On 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (2135)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12997) - you deserved it (9981)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

#19397276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (1469)

On 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35336) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)



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