Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heylilyhey

Search for a member

heylilyhey
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

heylilyhey's last visitors

The_Big_BossusmcfieldsSuperdouchebagred_headforlifeALlamaOnFiretotallybananasrkdstp1995pratikp03WildHorses1987jgilmanx13Edogg215ActionFearo

heylilyhey's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of heylilyhey's badges

heylilyhey's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43804) - you deserved it (16988)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (6100)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44114) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (5049)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49353) - you deserved it (6515)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (2286)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (24127)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51440) - you deserved it (4225)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41230) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41659) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: