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heyitsmekenny

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heyitsmekenny

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  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heyitsmekenny's page activity

Visits<b>LowLives</b> - the 05/01/2010 at 1:18am

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heyitsmekenny's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (7986)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (9446)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (4060)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55646) - you deserved it (6796)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (12991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60600) - you deserved it (20242)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48135) - you deserved it (13758)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (9546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (2536)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States



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