heyitsjacqueline

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heyitsjacqueline

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2387
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About heyitsjacqueline : Jacqueline Marie
junior @ Michigan State University.
releaseyourheart.tumblr.com

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LIKES: writing, long bike rides, photography, Toronto, raspberry Smirnoff, cuddling, music, hugs, dogs, peach Seagrams, wearing dresses, summer, sunrises, pop culture, good sex, rain, dancing, blanket forts, movies.

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Breathe it all in, love it all out. Life is beautiful.

heyitsjacqueline's page activity

Visits<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:42pm<b>jreaso01</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 2:48am<b>demetrius19</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 8:04pm<b>jb002873</b> - the 08/20/2010 at 12:03pm<b>bongsewer</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 10:18pm<b>btmicm</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 4:00pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 12:09am<b>Young_Sparta</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 4:32am

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heyitsjacqueline's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

by onlyme / 05/23/2009 at 1:15am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

by erin3809483 / 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML

by stillhungry / 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML

by crash / 05/22/2009 at 12:39am / United States / Health

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

by fmlcops / 05/22/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

by theman / 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

by progressiveboink / 05/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

by Ya / 05/10/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:45am / Norway (Troms) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

by lover21 / 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Work