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heyitsjacqueline

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heyitsjacqueline
  • Town/Country : Kalamazoo!, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1367
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About heyitsjacqueline : Jacqueline Marie!
sophomore @ Michigan State University.
whenthestarswontshine.tumblr.com

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LIKES: photography, sushi, cuddling, Maroon 5, root beer, music, hugs, history, psychology, hide and seek, summer, Mac Miller!, sex, rain, movies.

DISLIKES: spiders, cold weather, math, cobwebs, mud, arrogance, war, ignorance, homework, and doing laundry.

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Whaddup. Basically, I'm a Spartan, I laugh too much, and I think life is beautiful.

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heyitsjacqueline's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (6083)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (3443)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (59459)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (25023)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

#3983429
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (3197)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Gg (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50626) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML

#3899381
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (10695)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35079) - you deserved it (4801)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
568 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (78167)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39168) - you deserved it (2344)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (2087)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (9198)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (9198)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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