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heyitsjacqueline

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heyitsjacqueline
  • Town/Country : East Lansing, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About heyitsjacqueline : Jacqueline Marie
junior @ Michigan State University.
releaseyourheart.tumblr.com

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LIKES: writing, long bike rides, photography, Toronto, raspberry Smirnoff, cuddling, music, hugs, dogs, peach Seagrams, wearing dresses, summer, sunrises, pop culture, good sex, rain, dancing, blanket forts, movies.

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Breathe it all in, love it all out. Life is beautiful.

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heyitsjacqueline's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (2489)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

#17177667
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (7501)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (23458)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

#14250956
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (22599)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (7216)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (58193)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13710) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20677) - you deserved it (27882)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7242) - you deserved it (73146)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54839) - you deserved it (10826)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (18796)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (43537)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (17949)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (2354)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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