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heyimzim

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heyimzim

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About heyimzim : Sup?? Message me, I\\\'m bored

heyimzim's page activity

Visits<b>Isoldael</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 8:52pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 1:01pm<b>killakiwi</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 12:06pm<b>Shorty_Shaza</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 1:38pm

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heyimzim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74816) - you deserved it (9071)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

#20067540
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12879) - you deserved it (52679)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (5202)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML

#17190243
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4045)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:37pm - kids - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42496) - you deserved it (9205)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (35270)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (23203)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (47551)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (6087)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40951) - you deserved it (8192)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (45592)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (4790)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (4790)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (24702)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States



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