heybigboy

Search for a member

heybigboy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About heybigboy : I play the French horn. I LOVE Iron Maiden. I also love my girlfriend.

heybigboy's page activity

Visits<b>CaptFappingtons</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:49pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:47pm<b>patd77</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:08am<b>theonecasey</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:25pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:11pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:09am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 8:03pm

heybigboy's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of heybigboy's badges

heybigboy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

by tired individual / 01/12/2014 at 6:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

by Eggs / 11/15/2013 at 12:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

by Neutered / 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

by daughterofanazi / 02/08/2012 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

by gibsonSG323 / 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

by jacques / 02/02/2010 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Holidays