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hey_its_me_

Offline (yesterday at 6:12am) | Search for a member

hey_its_me_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 112
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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hey_its_me_'s page activity

Visits<b>csofball7</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:39am<b>njls08</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:34pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:29am<b>okcnation</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:31am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:31am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:21am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:07am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:47am<b>rabid_monkeys</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Sh3pard</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MissBubblesXoxo</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:26pm<b>mjlocat</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:24am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:14am

hey_its_me_'s FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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hey_its_me_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (15628)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50489) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (12170)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51995) - you deserved it (16824)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54457) - you deserved it (5057)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47780) - you deserved it (4168)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (17764)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (7212)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45934) - you deserved it (5305)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

#21038360
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (11453)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46860) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52981) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2622)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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