Search for a member

Offline (the 11/29/2016 at 3:28pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 980
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hey_its_me_ : I love my cows. 💕

hey_its_me_'s page activity

Visits<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 12:41am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 8:57am<b>matman82</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 1:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 12:30am<b>duduv2</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 2:15pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:17pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 4:48pm<b>killintime379</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 5:30am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 7:51pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 5:51pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:13pm<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 12:32pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:29am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 12:39pm<b>charlie_FML</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:01am<b>frankmz</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:41am<b>ikeb</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:36pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 9:22pm

Fucked!<b>duduv2</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 8:16pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 9:53pm<b>ikeb</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 5:36am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 8:42am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:59am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:50pm<b>infernno</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:53am<b>hopper4ooo</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 7:27am<b>Jabroni_Cool</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 9:57pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:55pm<b>seanyewest</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:24pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 6:31pm<b>mjd13666</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:33pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:08pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:53am<b>SnooterCrunch</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:28pm

hey_its_me_'s FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of hey_its_me_'s badges

hey_its_me_'s favorite FMLs

Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML

by dickface / 03/31/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

by anon / 07/11/2015 at 8:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

by anon / 09/25/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

by furryfriend / 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health