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hewro_failure's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML
by lexibabe / 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
by Noname / 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by nolongerengaged / 02/03/2009 at 12:08pm / United States / Love
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
by sportskidguru / 02/01/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
by Ah hell / 01/31/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML
by theamericandream / 01/25/2009 at 8:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love