hewro_failure

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Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 6:57am)

hewro_failure

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1316
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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hewro_failure's page activity

Visits<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:17pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:51pm<b>happy2468</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:41am<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:54am<b>Disheartened</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 3:15pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 8:48am<b>DarkOtaku</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:12pm<b>Zomg_Okay</b> - the 12/11/2012 at 1:14pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 12/29/2011 at 3:33pm

hewro_failure's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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hewro_failure's favorite FMLs

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:11am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

by Puppy Loverr / 08/25/2011 at 3:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

by CarrieRedburn / 07/27/2011 at 4:09am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

by googlefreak54321 / 07/25/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML

by Live02Dance / 06/25/2011 at 8:58am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

by leeseyxoxo / 03/27/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

by poop / 02/06/2011 at 1:26pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

by byepolar_bare / 12/19/2010 at 6:29am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous