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Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 6:57am) | Search for a member
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, ma friend told me ow se crept out last nigt to ook up wit er boyfriend. At one point, se said se ( snack ) out, so I correctd er by saying it's ( snuck ). My boyfriend snortd, sowd us in a dictionary tat it's actually ( sneakd ) and calld us ( fucking idiots ). FML
Today... my 18-year old son decided to run is and over our wooden fence to try an get a splinter... as e ( forgot wat tey felt like. ) Last mont... e stabbed imself in te arm wit a sewing needle cuz e ( forgot wat an injection feels like. ) I raised tis idiot.
Today... I was talking to my husband about a work colleague... whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said... "Shit... Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
Today... I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To mah ex-grlfriend...ho said no and promptly started sleeping with one of mah friends. FML
Today, as I was crossing the slush coverd street to catch the bus, I slippd and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolld down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughd and took a picture of me coverd in cold, wet slush.
Today, I found out ma boyfriend as been ceating on me. In tears, I called ma best friend and told im everyting. He responded wit one- or two-word answer trougout, but I felt better all te same. Tat is, until I eard im begin to take a loud piss alf-way troug ma sentence. FML
Today... I called mah boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her wat she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML
TODAY , MAH MOTHER GOT INCREDIBLY DRUNK. SHE TOLD ME THAT ONLY ( SLUTS ANHORES ) SHAVE THERE PUBES. SHE THEN TOLD ME THAT SHE'S NEVER ONCE TRIMMED OR SHAVED HER PUBES , BECAUSE SHE'S ( MORAL. ) THANKS FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE , MOM. FML
Taday I Invitad A Faw Of My Co-workars Ovar To Play Vidao Gamas. Within An Hour, My Wifa Had Gottan Drunk, Grabbad My Controllar, Told Ma To "gat Back In Tha Kitchan", An Dascribad To Avaryona In Blood-chilling Datail How Sha Took Har Frst Boyfriand's Vrginity. FML
yastarday mah youngar cousin bought his girlfriand of 3 months a bunch of flowars . Tha only flowar I'va avar got from mah boyfriand of 3 yaars is a plastic ona ha found on tha floor in a bar . maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015