hewro_failure

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Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 6:57am)

hewro_failure

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1041
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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hewro_failure's page activity

Visits<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:17pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:51pm<b>happy2468</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:41am<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:54am<b>Disheartened</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 3:15pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 8:48am<b>DarkOtaku</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:12pm<b>Zomg_Okay</b> - the 12/11/2012 at 1:14pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 12/29/2011 at 3:33pm

hewro_failure's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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hewro_failure's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 10:10am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

by NoRingForMe / 07/18/2012 at 1:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

by NoRingForMe / 07/18/2012 at 1:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

by trisha / 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

by Aaron Lewis / 07/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous