Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

herpaderpaherp

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 9:35pm) | Search for a member

herpaderpaherp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1221
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About herpaderpaherp : Kinda made a profile after not being able to vote on comments. Lovin FML, and feel free to message me.

herpaderpaherp's page activity

Visits<b>inteli3</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:41pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:53pm<b>natashaaaa111310</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:57pm<b>waratmars</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:19pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:24am<b>b_d_hill</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:40pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:41pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:43am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:58pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:37am<b>xkore787</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:25pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:52pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:17am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>wecameasromans15</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:21pm<b>AwThatsCold</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:11am<b>SwimmerBoy16</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:14pm

herpaderpaherp's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of herpaderpaherp's badges

herpaderpaherp's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (50863) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (6584) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (45369)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11465) - you deserved it (152529)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (18119)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (6557)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (32058)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (3897)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: