Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heroforhirex95

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

heroforhirex95

2Liked!

heroforhirex95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1314
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About heroforhirex95 : My name's Georgia. I like Batman

heroforhirex95's page activity

Visits<b>Garrett2818</b> - yesterday at 5:21pm<b>mval10</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:06pm<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:22pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:06pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:06pm<b>eriicaaaf</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 4:26pm<b>lakaiskate</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:47am<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:20pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:36pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:49am<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:58pm<b>shardynfahey</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:26am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:54am<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:22pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:36pm<b>maxface</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:44pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:21am

Liked!<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:17pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:01am

heroforhirex95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of heroforhirex95's badges

heroforhirex95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (74640)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (3940)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (2987)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48999) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (10342)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56266) - you deserved it (6000)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (3664)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43039) - you deserved it (7340)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (21561)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50412) - you deserved it (6795)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (2981)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53000) - you deserved it (5950)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52107) - you deserved it (3116)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: