hernandez8721

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hernandez8721

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  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hernandez8721's FML badges

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hernandez8721's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

by Lucie / 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

by the customer is always a cunt / 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2013 at 3:52pm / United States / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

by bf / 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous