About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (2287)
On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (2612)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7228) - you deserved it (27265)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11782) - you deserved it (1401)
On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4662) - you deserved it (27043)
On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22710)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (8069)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (2202)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54612) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (4356)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56790) - you deserved it (2467)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64409) - you deserved it (4521)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (15607)
On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (10472)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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