Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hennessy89

Online | Search for a member

hennessy89

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3938
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's page activity

Visits<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:05am<b>bigjake</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:13am<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>jaypskates44</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:01am<b>nitrams</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 4:23pm<b>codym2</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:39am<b>Starpom</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 6:43pm<b>suckmysarcasm</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 5:51pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:40am<b>Greyce</b> - the 08/29/2010 at 4:39pm

Fucked!<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:05pm

hennessy89's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (27475)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (8870)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (2670)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (2481)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (10271)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (31369)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (5029)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

#8099934
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (24270)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (8703)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (5685)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (2699)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32267) - you deserved it (26770)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: