Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hennessy89

Search for a member

hennessy89
  • Town/Country : La Crosse, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2270
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's last visitors

troutbumjaypskates44Starpomsuckmysarcasm

hennessy89's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (20548)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (2930)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (7019)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (3939)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34111) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7393) - you deserved it (28073)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13868) - you deserved it (1746)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4793) - you deserved it (27508)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (29439)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (8165)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (2226)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (1530)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: