About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12542) - you deserved it (7442)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6927) - you deserved it (20277)
On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (3615)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received notice that I had not been paying my bills and had an outstanding debt of $2074. Apparently, my 7 year old son has been taking my mail and playing "mailman" for the past 3 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18099) - you deserved it (8043)
On 02/13/2010 at 1:21pm - money - by Jeffrey - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (1957)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6887) - you deserved it (14725)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (5800)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (6491)
On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (1701)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (16480)
On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22397) - you deserved it (2885)
On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (5845)
On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (3289)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
