hennessy89

Search for a member

Offline (one hour ago)

hennessy89

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4341
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's page activity

Visits<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:59am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:51am<b>lfc1980</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 5:45pm<b>captainoptimism</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:04pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:33am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:34pm<b>ER1C</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:21pm<b>mpalomba3</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:57pm<b>bas504</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:32pm<b>Frinny</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:52am<b>Lionel2174</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 2:50am<b>slave_kitten</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:30pm<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:01pm<b>FaintXxJoexX</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:45pm<b>zenos82</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:16pm<b>conivore723</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:40am<b>nickbuckley</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 4:44am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:34am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:43pm<b>ER1C</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:52pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:50am<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:05pm

hennessy89's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

by 86145 / 08/16/2010 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

by qtpieo1 / 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

by CreepedOut / 03/09/2010 at 1:31am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 6:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

by squishy / 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

by muffingirl / 02/10/2010 at 7:30am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 1:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

by grrrr / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

by eemp / 02/05/2010 at 12:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love