Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hennessy89

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

hennessy89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2912
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's page activity

Visits<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>jaypskates44</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:01am<b>nitrams</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 4:23pm<b>codym2</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:39am<b>Starpom</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 6:43pm<b>suckmysarcasm</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 5:51pm<b>Greyce</b> - the 08/29/2010 at 4:39pm

hennessy89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (8734)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (56317)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12543) - you deserved it (56902)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (4913)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11764) - you deserved it (41661)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (9993)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (8251)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (3973)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: