About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (2316)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15855) - you deserved it (2556)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (2242)
On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66037)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (30022)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (31793)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (4075)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (42203)
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (43103)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (1781)
On 11/04/2011 at 7:59am - health - by sakura_girl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (3697)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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