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hennessy89

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hennessy89
  • Town/Country : La Crosse, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2274
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's last visitors

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hennessy89's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (1819)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (36795)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (5044)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (2347)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67995)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39008)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (5165)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (54092)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3569)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)



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