Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hennessy89

Offline (the 07/08/2014 at 4:56am) | Search for a member

hennessy89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2609
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)

hennessy89's page activity

Visits<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>jaypskates44</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:01am<b>nitrams</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 4:23pm<b>codym2</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:39am<b>Starpom</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 6:43pm<b>suckmysarcasm</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 5:51pm<b>Greyce</b> - the 08/29/2010 at 4:39pm

hennessy89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hennessy89's badges

hennessy89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (15310)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62409) - you deserved it (15861)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76718) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (5551)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64479) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72458) - you deserved it (5794)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (20178)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (13554)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48851) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57589) - you deserved it (26146)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44416) - you deserved it (5078)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48186) - you deserved it (13721)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68877) - you deserved it (3700)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (74723)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56636) - you deserved it (26951)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: