About hennessy89 : I love to laugh. Especially at other people =)
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hennessy89's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by S.Bunny / 01/22/2010 at 3:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
by CD / 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
by Laughluv / 01/02/2010 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 4:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love