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henmaru's FML badges
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henmaru's favorite FMLs
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation
by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full… Today, I went to donate blood, after I was about halfway through I felt extremely sick. I told the… Today, I was disowned by my mother because I asked her to tone it down on Facebook. She flipped out…