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help_me_13's favorite FMLs
by seaweedlady / 06/21/2011 at 10:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
by Inconnu / 06/18/2011 at 1:13am / France / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
by Uhmm... / 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by coolbeans123 / 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm / Singapore / Animals
by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…