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help_me_13

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help_me_13
  • Town/Country : houston, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2945
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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help_me_13's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

#16779539
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (4209)

On 06/21/2011 at 10:49am - misc - by seaweedlady - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50223) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (3174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (4719)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52229) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (40527)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (13121)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102942) - you deserved it (13927)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (4683)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (5563)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (10819)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)



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