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help_me_13

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help_me_13
  • Town/Country : houston, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2959
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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help_me_13's favorite FMLs

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (3595)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39025) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36940) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40895) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (10961)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46704) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8563) - you deserved it (58550) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7658) - you deserved it (60985)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (4518)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (86887)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States



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