Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

help_me_13

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

help_me_13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

help_me_13's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:09am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:39am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:27pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>MattAttack12</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 1:47am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:21pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:59pm<b>mouse9419</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:30pm<b>Californialuvv</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 4:57pm<b>ryan5707</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:58pm<b>k4m1k4z3</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:00am<b>macorncob</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 9:49am<b>k_gils</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 7:54pm<b>masterofflight</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 7:09pm

help_me_13's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of help_me_13's badges

help_me_13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (34287)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11750) - you deserved it (32689)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2845)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

#17485415
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31937) - you deserved it (4619)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (9369)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (4222)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46547) - you deserved it (4853)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49236) - you deserved it (4611)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48004) - you deserved it (2387)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9736) - you deserved it (72186)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: