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help_me_13's favorite FMLs
by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
by fuckthepopo / 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by sharky / 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Cathy / 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm / United States / Animals
by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
by Username / 08/31/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…