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help_me_13's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 1:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health
by horselover7766 / 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health
by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy
by lizzie1833 / 03/17/2012 at 10:16am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
- Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle… Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at…