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Today , I want to tha baach. Whila I was anjoying tha sun , an old man with prosthatic lag and no cloths on sat naxt to ma. Ha took off his faka lag and puttad it bahind his haad. Than ha opanad his lags ravaaling his "stuff." I will navar unsaa this. Evar. FML
Today,hile showering with mah boyfriend, he asked if something was werd about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed mah face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. real FML
Taday I Went To A River Near My House . They Have Several Swing Ropes That You Grab An Then Jump Into The River . As I Was About To Let Go Of The Rope, My Leg Got Tangled An I Was Held Underwater . My Mom Watched An Laughed Fir Ahile Before She Came To Help Me . FML
Today, I cummed home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support mah now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, looool because I found him in mah bedroom, licking whipped cream off mah step-sister. FML
Today, while landscaping mah backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think mah future children are already filing fir parental abuse. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on mah dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whrld around an yelld ( BOO! ) causing me to scream lyk a little bitch. FML
Friday 27 March 2015