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help_me_13's favorite FMLs
by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 9:54am / Greece (Attiki) / Health
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
by :$ / 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…