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hellphone's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML
by moodyreallyrocks / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money
by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by poopcoloredeyes / 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML
by Hollywoodanonymous / 10/31/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Andrew / 10/31/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML
by nocostumeforme / 10/29/2011 at 12:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Pimaan / 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm / United States / Money
Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML
by FATS DOMINO / 10/20/2011 at 11:39am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML
by ipodless / 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by WhoopteeDooDoo / 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by cc / 10/10/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Montana) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think…