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hellphone

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hellphone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

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hellphone's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44120) - you deserved it (6239)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (7743)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

#18184829
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15243) - you deserved it (30674)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (4807)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (3391)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12505) - you deserved it (24844)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (8954)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (13592)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

#18154487
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27030) - you deserved it (6007)

On 11/04/2011 at 2:57am - love - by foreverashamed - Canada

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (45292)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (6325)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (8830)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML

#18148198
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (3844)

On 11/03/2011 at 4:06pm - money - by oneillrox - United States (New Jersey)



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