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Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you totally deserved it (2142)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you totally deserved it (1760)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you totally deserved it (5488)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you totally deserved it (8102)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38525) - you totally deserved it (8700)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you totally deserved it (1030)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you totally deserved it (2514)
On 08/28/2009 at 9:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you totally deserved it (3775)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you totally deserved it (1007)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you totally deserved it (4465)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you totally deserved it (2323)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31373) - you totally deserved it (2890)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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