About hellogoodbye1996 : Someday I will overcome my struggles
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hellogoodbye1996's favorite FMLs
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
by prostate / 06/08/2009 at 9:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by JessBaby / 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Tragic / 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 10:14am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by camp / 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
by cjk004 / 02/15/2009 at 6:35am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…