About hellogoodbye1996 : Someday I will overcome my struggles
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hellogoodbye1996's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
by gibsonSG323 / 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
by Hate2Date / 04/05/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous
by ljjprchf / 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by nickyy / 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
by QuestionMyLife / 09/30/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
by Seabiscuit / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
by Victim / 06/27/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…