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hellofolks

Offline (the 03/23/2014 at 2:13am) | Search for a member

hellofolks

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 November 1962 (51 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hellofolks's page activity

Visits<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Chuckduck1</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:24pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:07am<b>firefighter320</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:58pm

hellofolks's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of hellofolks's badges

hellofolks's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43905) - you deserved it (9905)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (5085)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (5380)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (5506)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (19618)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39437) - you deserved it (2847)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (6363)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51287) - you deserved it (3661)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (36503)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

#14669350
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (9259)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Peter C. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (7982)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (3266)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94321) - you deserved it (19948)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



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