About helen_ellexo : Wooo!
helen_ellexo's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy
Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML
by HanBroman / 03/17/2014 at 4:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML
by Puick / 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm / Argentina / Health
by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy
by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided… Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five… Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later,…